Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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