So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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