she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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