I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I looked at my own cervix.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
