Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
