Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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