Got a toothbrush?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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