I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
