I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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