She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
