Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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