you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
