my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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