sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
