My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
