I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Alive.
So much puke
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
