you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You were trust falling into bushes
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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