come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
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