I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This is classic penis vs brain.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?