I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.