why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
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In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
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So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...