id be glad to
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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