god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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