If that was your dad, he is hot
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
