Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
