There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
