people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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