Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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