how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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