BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No subtext here. People are naked.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
