that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize