For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
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Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
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I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize