I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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