Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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