I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
