oh god the rape fog is back!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He passed out mid-signature
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
