There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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