my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
