i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
