i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
