I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
