I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
