this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
