You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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