Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
