ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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