i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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