Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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