Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
