If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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