He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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