I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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