this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
