Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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