you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
