You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I didn't notice because vodka
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
