i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
