I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
he puts the penis in happiness.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
