It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
