You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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