I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
