Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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