last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
In America we eat man semen.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
