I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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