What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
