Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We have started to decorate penises.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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